Last night was so much fun with you guys, just what I needed to unwind and forget about the inevitable. It's one of the things I'll miss most about England. I love how a quite evening in with you can so easily turn from just one glass of wine to just one bottle, then another, and another. Seven bottles later and I knew my last full day in England wasn't going to be a pleasant one, but it was worth it.
Our goodbye was rushed and I felt like I didn't get to say anything I really wanted to in the early morning haze of a hangover. I think I was actually still a little drunk. Needless to say, I crawled from the floor into your bed after you left, but to no avail. I couldn't sleep and we left about an hour after you. I'm sorry if I upset you last night, it wasn't my intention. I want you to know what I said came from a loving place and I had absolutely no intention to hurt your feelings. I love you and I'm proud to call you my best friend. I'm going to miss you so bloody much.
The nerves have finally hit. What started out as a bad hangover has disappeared and left only genuine worry. I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. It's about midnight now and don't anticipate I'll sleep for hours. I'm so glad I have David to go through this with, he's been incredibly supportive through the whole process. I can remember sitting in that doctors office six months ago and feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me. He's been nothing but kind and understanding. I can't imagine doing this on my own, how does Lily do this every year? I feel a little overwhelmed.
There are so many people I wanted to see before we left but was unable to. This whole thing has happened so quickly and I can't believe tomorrow we're actually leaving the country for a year. I haven't broken yet, but I can feel the emotions building up inside me, it's only a matter of time before it all comes out.
I imagine I'll be very busy over the next twenty-four hours, but I will try and write to you as soon as I get a chance. For now I'll just say goodbye Sal. Goodbye England, family and friends, I'll miss some of them.
Love, hugs and limp wristed waves.
Samuel James.
Samuel James.
Dear Sam,
ReplyDeleteAs I sit here on the train to Brighton reading your wonderful letter, I feel an absolute wave of emotion come across me. There isn't much more to say other than I love you so much and am gonna miss you and David more than anything. You're more than my best friend, you are my family and if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be the person I am today. You're going to have an absolutely incredible journey over the next year. I know its scary - but what would life be without a little bit of fear? - Please refer to Ian Brown's 'F.E.A.R' at this point! Its a winner! To me, you are an absolute inspiration and I am so proud of everything you have achieved, and everything you have gone through over the last year! I wish you and David all the luck in the world, although I'm positive you don't need it! Have an incredible time and don't waste a single moment. It may be tough at first but stick with it as it will all be worth it in the end. Let me know when you arrive safety and don't believe what the people in your head say...there is NOT a colonel women on the wing! Haha.
All my love, hugs and inapproriate touching,
Sal xxx
Love this blog so much! Turns out you do have a soul after all!!!
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